Tuesday, March 6, 2007

University Of Alabama Rejection Letter (Roll Tide)

Dear Madam or Sir ,
University of Alabama regrets to inform you that your son / daughter application for admittance has been rejected to make room for our newly recruited meat head jock . U of A has invested thousands of tax payers' dollars to search for and recruit this meat head jock to boost our standings in the competitive field of sports . If your son / daughter had scored higher number of points per game , we would have rejected another intellectual student to make room for your child . Sports is more important to the University of Alabama than education , we are number one in college-drop-outs-turned-pro than any other university in this state .

If your child is REALLY interested in getting an education , we suggest you apply for college in India , China or Japan . Those countries arrogantly boast about the higher percentage of students whom actually earned a degree without having to throw a stupid ball .

University of Alabama would like to extend our invitation to your family to come down to the $100 million dollar stadium to watch the stupid meat head jock that took your child's place throw a ball through the air . That stupid meat head jock is just amazing ! He can throw a ball farther than your child can throw his / her application !! To answer your other question , NO , we do not offer a degree in football , basketball , baseball or any sport for that matter . What do you think we are , a university for higher education ? If your child is not a meat head jock , do not waste OUR time applying for admission to U of A .


Ron Bramlett said...

Where's the Ole Miss letter?

David Oliver said...

HAHAHA! Dang Ron, he went hard in the paint on you and Pate!